Age as such doesn't scare me, as some of the wisest people I know (and therefore admire) are a lot older than me (and a lot wiser....!); but ageing does.
I can't say I feel much older than I did, say, a decade ago, other than really, desperately needing my sleep in a way I haven't before; but as so many other parents, I can see that time passes in my children. They're ever growing, blossoming, learning, developing, and each year seems to disappear just a little bit faster than the previous one.
What scares me most, is the fact that I have actually managed to get to my age, and have four children, without really knowing myself very well. That might sound random and somewhat confused but it just happens to be the truth. Some might call it some sort of 'mid-life' crisis, and maybe it is, but I take it quite seriously. I know not who I am or who I want to be. What I want to work with, or how I'm going to achieve it. Or how to find out. But for 2012, I'm vowing to make some changes in my life, and how I embrace it. I feel silly, selfish and even stupid when I think back on how I've dealt with certain things and certain situations, and on how I've let other people influence my choices, my decisions, rather than trusting myself, being honest with myself, and believing in 'I'.
That image sums up quite well the changes I aspire to make. It says it all really. Life is precious, make the most of every day. Trust yourself, believe in yourself, live, be happy.
I've never liked 'I', but I'm hoping to change that. I'm learning that change is good.
