Change.

So, I'll be turning 35 this year. Eeeeek!!! 

Age as such doesn't scare me, as some of the wisest people I know (and therefore admire) are a lot older than me (and a lot wiser....!); but ageing does.
I can't say I feel much older than I did, say, a decade ago, other than really, desperately needing my sleep in a way I haven't before; but as so many other parents, I can see that time passes in my children. They're ever growing, blossoming, learning, developing, and each year seems to disappear just a little bit faster than the previous one.

What scares me most, is the fact that I have actually managed to get to my age, and have four children, without really knowing myself very well. That might sound random and somewhat confused but it just happens to be the truth. Some might call it some sort of 'mid-life' crisis, and maybe it is, but I take it quite seriously. I know not who I am or who I want to be. What I want to work with, or how I'm going to achieve it. Or how to find out. But for 2012, I'm vowing to make some changes in my life, and how I embrace it. I feel silly, selfish and even stupid when I think back on how I've dealt with certain things and certain situations, and on how I've let other people influence my choices, my decisions, rather than trusting myself, being honest with myself, and believing in 'I'.

That image sums up quite well the changes I aspire to make. It says it all really. Life is precious, make the most of every day. Trust yourself, believe in yourself, live, be happy.

I've never liked 'I', but I'm hoping to change that. I'm learning that change is good.

And I just...

...eat and eat and eat. If it was a case of eating lots of fruit, more fiber and other healthy snacks it wouldn't be an issue. Most people would probably agree that an extra pound or two on me would be absolutely fine, but  as I've noticed it all tends to go on my behind and thighs, I will be fighting it!!! But at least this time around I'm aware of my substituting smoking with eating. From now on I'm leaving all the unhealthy stuff for the weekends. And how appropriate is the timing of me saying that on Thursday eve...??? :p Here we come fruit, crispbread and paper-like crackers. Well, from Monday anyway.

From Sweden

Long time no see.

It's been a while since I posted, but as it's a new year I thought I'd have another go at keeping this a little better updated!

Some pictures from my time catching up with family in Sweden in August (I miss you all dearly...! <3):

You're not all captured here, but please know I do love and miss you all, and hope our paths will cross again soon!

So, onto Christmas and NYE. The holidays were lovely. We've just spent lots time at home, chilling with the family, cooking, eating, drinking and playing Mario Kart on the Wii! It did pass far too quickly, as always...

The biggest change in my life over recent is probably that I have stopped smoking. I have been off them for two weeks now, and I do feel great about it. I don't smell, I can breathe again and I sleep better than I ever have before. While I was smoking I really didn't have a problem with only getting five hours sleep and rising at 5.30 in the morning as it meant a cup of coffee and a cigarette. Now, I struggle to get out of bed even after seven hours of really good sleep ha ha! But it does mean that weekend mornings are lovely, snoozey and chilled, and I have no problems falling asleep again - love it!!

I haven't made any NY resolutions as such, but I'm planning on being a healthier, happier and better person. I have a feeling twothousandandtwelve is going to be a good year!!!